From BoB to Shane Warne to Dan Walker, there seems to be a little confusion about some fundamentals of life
Are you a creationist hitting the big time on BBC Breakfast? Or an American rapper who thinks the world is flat? Perhaps youre an Australian cricketer confused about how we can go from monkeys to apes to humans, without the need for pyramid-building aliens? If youre a celebrity who is dangerously close to having opinions and beliefs about things you are a bit shaky on, never fear, help is at hand
If humans evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys?
I can understand the frustration here, Shane. (Shane? This is you, right?). Perhaps you could think of it differently? Twenty20 evolved from cricket, right? But no one expects cricket to die a horrible death. Not yet, anyway. The two forms can carry on doing what they do. Could Twenty20 have been invented without the silent hand of a creator? I believe, mostly, yes. The problem is, Shane, that youve seen that textbook graphic too many times of an ape progressing stage by stage into an upright man. Evolution is not really like that. Plus, there are women too.
How do we know the Earth isnt flat?
Fair enough, its only a few centuries ago since we sorted this one out. Lets look at this a different way. What if, that time you were five years old and your grandfather did the Ive got your nose trick, your grandfather didnt really take the nose off your face, but instead pushed his thumb through his fingers to make it look like he had your nose in his clenched fist. It would explain a lot, wouldnt it? Like why there was no blood? And why there was no searing pain as your nose was ripped off? The world is a bit like that. It is different to how you perceive it and thats why all these things that shouldnt make sense like geography, astronomy, physics, maths and rappers who fail to fall off the edge of the world make total sense.
What if the fossils were put there by God?
Genuinely, I think this too sometimes. What if he did put the fossils there? What if he really did create this massive planet in six days, complete with millions of fossils as a means of testing us? What if he chucked in the botflies and the brain parasites and the eyeball-dwelling worms and all the malaria as a way to test how much we really love him? I really like imagining this scenario. Lets just sit here and think about that for a bit.
Now its your turn, because what if he didnt put the fossils there? What if the Earth is older and more ancient than you can imagine? What if this planet is about more than us? What if you are spending the limited amount of time you have alive on this planet being dismissive of those who study fossils without choosing to observe and dig and read books about how beautiful fossils really are and how they are just a small part of a theory you choose not to understand? What then?
Look at the pyramids. We couldnt make them. So aliens?
The story is far more interesting than that. Look it up.
Ill believe in evolution when I see a chimpanzee give birth to a human
Be careful when putting common evolutionary tropes like this out there. For starters, a chimpanzee giving birth to a human would be deeply troubling to Darwins theory of evolution by natural selection. It would imply that evolutionary cousins could give birth to each other and open up a world where cats give birth to dogs and dogs give birth to bears simply because they share ancestors. Itd be a free for all, essentially.
But you probably dont care about technicalities like this. It is just an opinion, right? Opinions like Ill believe in evolution when can be quite fun when aired on Twitter. Sure, you can expect derision and some scathing responses from angry atheists, but you might make the news. You might end up with opinion pieces (like this one) dedicated to you. Good for you. Failing to understand the ways in which science (particularly evolution) works has its upsides sometimes, after all. And arent column inches the very essence of celebrity?
Read more: <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/feb/16/celebrities-earth-flat-aliens-shane-warne-dan-walker-rapper-bob">http://www.theguardian.com/us</a>